A Life Twice Lived
by Misty Glow
Summary: The journal of Revan's adventure. Done in first person perspective and based on the KOTOR game. A deeper look at this gifted woman and how she found love and friendship despite her tainted past.
1. Chapter 1

**This story has been done before in so many different ways, but I wanted to humanize it a bit and fill in the thoughts and feelings of Revan (Skye) during her journey through the adventure. That's why I'm writing this from a first person perspective in journal style format. So, even if you are all too familiar with the events in KOTOR, I hope my version can present the inner struggle of the characters in more depth. Yes, I had to tweak a few events and add things that would be more interesting in order to present this story in a 'real time' format. I hope some of you enjoy this. If you do, please let me know. Thanks!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars and make no money from the writing of this fiction.**

**Day One**

I found this empty data pad in a storage container in my quarters today. I decided it would be worth my while to begin writing of my days as so much of my past seems vague to me.

My name is Skye Avery and I'm twenty eight years old, I believe. I can't seem to recall my childhood, except I've been told my parents are now deceased. I've spent my adult life as a smuggler on the Corellian Run, smuggling spices, weapons, explosives and various other items until the Republic asked me to join their fight against the Sith.

I realize my memory capacity is not what it should be - perhaps the result of an implant defect. For instance, I can't seem to remember anyone I may have known before joining the Republic forces. I cannot recall friends, lovers, or acquaintances. I don't remember what my family looked like. The doctor at the military base warned me that such a thing can happen following a major trauma in one's life. I wish I could recall what that trauma was.

That is why I decided to keep a record of my days hence forth. Perhaps I'll be able to remember people and places better if I write about them each day. It's worth a try.

Presently, I'm sitting in my quarters on a Republic starship called the _Endar Spire_. They recruited me for my security and repair skills and I've been helping to encode an emergency lockdown system for the ship in case of an attack. This would enable key areas of the ship to be isolated from any hostile parties that may board. It's not the most exciting work, but the people are friendly enough. My cabin mate, Trask Ulgo, works the shift opposite mine so I really don't see much of him at all except in passing. He seems very devoted to his duties.

I can't help but feel a bit apart from everyone else. I don't know if it's my smuggling background that keeps people at a distance. I suppose they might think of me as untrustworthy. I sometimes feel that others are watching me closely, as if waiting for me to stick some parts in my pocket to sell later at the next space port.

But they also seem impressed with my skills and so begrudge me a little respect. Why did I accept this mission? I really don't know. Another reason why I should be writing my thoughts down frequently! Perhaps, I was tired of being on the run all the time and living life on the edge. Trask jokes that the Republic got tired of trying to catch me so they decided to hire me instead. Why I'm not sitting in a prison somewhere is anyone's guess.

But the Republic is desperate for soldiers these days - enough to overlook my shady past. And how am I to return to my smuggling career if I've forgotten who all my contacts were? No, this will have to suffice for now.

Well, I suppose I should get some rest before Trask comes back and wakes me for my shift. I wonder how long it will be before we get into a battle? No tells me anything.

**Day Two**

We are getting closer to battle, or so say the rumors among the crew. Apparently, we are headed toward a planet called Taris in the Outer Rim on the very fringes of Republic space. The Sith Armada seems to think that Taris is too far from the Galactic Core for the Republic to bother with. They have invaded the planet and have taken control of its urban population.

Therefore, our fleet is on the way, trying to stop the Sith from spreading even further into Republic space, as that seems to be their goal. It's interesting that our mission is headed by none other than a Jedi, one named Bastila. Trask says she's very important to the Republic war effort and we are required to protect her at all costs. Something about that doesn't sound right to me. Wouldn't a Jedi be more able to defend herself than the rest of us grunts? And why is she so key to this war? Surely she's not the only Jedi left in the universe. Good thing I'm just here to fix things. I'll leave the fighting to the pros.

**Day Three**

I caught a glimpse of the Jedi today. I had to program the new codes into the main terminal on the bridge and there she was when I walked in. She was younger than I thought she'd be for so important a person. She had brown hair and eyes that bore right into me as I entered through the door. I didn't feel welcomed. I must have surprised her or something. Perhaps she didn't like a new face showing up in her command center so suddenly. I explained I was here to enter the new codes. She nodded and said, "Very well, proceed." Her defensive stance disturbed me, however, and I wondered if she was always so guarded. I mean, I don't even carry a weapon and I don't think I look scary.

I made my way to the front of the bridge and sat in the empty pilot's seat. I explained what I was doing to the co-pilot and she just nodded and continued with her duties. I had just about finished with my task when a voice startled me from behind.

"Did I lose my job?" he asked.

I turned around and saw a high ranking officer standing there with a small grin on his handsome face. Yes, he was pleasant to look at and I have to admit my nerves seemed to think so too.

"I… uh… was just putting the new codes…," I clumsily explained. What was wrong with me? No one ever shakes me up like this.

He grinned wider and said, "I know. I was just giving you a hard time."

"I'll be out of your way in a minute," I replied, trying to remember what the heck I was doing. It was hard to concentrate with the gorgeous pilot standing so close behind me and watching my every move.

"Take your time," he replied, as I fumbled around with the terminal. "I'm Carth Onasi by the way, and you are?"

"Skye Avery," I replied without looking at him, my stomach doing flip-flops. He was attracted to me, I could sense that. I don't know how I could, but I've noticed that I'm able to read other people's energy.

"You're Trask Ulgo's bunkmate, aren't you?" he asked. Hmm… very observant.

"You know Trask?" I replied, having to redo the code once again while Carth distracted me.

"He's a good soldier," Carth commented.

"I suppose," I replied. I stood up and announced, "All done. You can have your seat back."

"Thanks," he smiled. He had a subtle charm that made his flirting all the more potent. I nodded and quickly walked away. I could feel his eyes on my back as I made my way through the bridge and back to the corridor beyond. Strangely enough, I also felt the gaze of the Jedi again. I turned my head in her direction before I walked out the door. Sure enough she was looking at me strangely. Maybe I was infringing on her 'territory.' But I had heard that Jedi are not supposed to have romantic attachments. Who knows? Carth is charming enough to make a Jedi break that rule.

I wonder if I have a boyfriend or husband somewhere that I cannot remember. It disturbs me that I could very well run into someone that knows more about me than I do. So far that hasn't happened. I can only remember my recent stay at the military base on Coruscant and now here, on the _Endar Spire_. I vow that I'm going to write everything down from now on. I can't afford to lose anymore of my past. So, dear journal, you shall be my constant companion.

**Day Four, Five and Six**

I have suffered another injury to my head, but luckily I seem to have retained my new memories, at least for the parts I was conscious for. I will recount the events to the best of my knowledge thus far.

After my last entry in this data pad, I went to rest up for my next shift when I was awoken by explosions and shaking. I had just sat up in bed, disoriented by the disturbance, when Trask came running in through the door and yelled that we were being ambushed by the Sith battle fleet and were now under attack.

"We have to find Bastila before the Sith do and help her escape," he yelled, frantically. "Get dressed quickly; we need to get to the bridge!"

I wanted to tell him that I only fix things and I would be fairly useless in a battle situation, but it didn't seem appropriate to refuse such an urgent request. Besides, if the Sith really were going to board this ship, I think I'd feel safer standing behind Bastila or one of the other Jedi she had brought with her.

I quickly pulled on my pants and jacket, donned my stealth belt (just in case), and grabbed a short sword I had been given after a brief training session on Coruscant. I threw my meager possessions in my pack, along with you, dear journal. The adrenaline pumping through my body made the whole situation seem surreal. I felt I had to do whatever I could to survive this attack. Trask looked no less nervous. Though he had been a soldier for a few years, I think this was the first time he would be using his skills in real combat, if I was not mistaken.

The lockdown system I had installed was working, and happily, I had the codes to override the doors that were now closed. We made our way out of the room and tried to keep our balance as the ship was hit by more and more laser canons. The poor utility droids were frantically trying to patch the ship, despite the chaos surrounding them.

As we left the room, Carth Onasi's voice could be heard on our wrist communicators. He gave a general order for all hands to head to the bridge to protect Bastila.

"Things must be bad if Carth Onasi is worried," Trask says. This did not make me feel any better. As we opened the door to the main corridor, our worst fears were realized. Not only was the ship smoking and collapsing in various places, but an advanced boarding party of Sith was before us, having a shoot out with Republic soldiers and adding their bodies to the many others already lying about from the explosions.

There was no turning back now that the Sith soldiers had spotted us. Trask yelled, "For the Republic!" and barreled ahead with his blasters. Something kicked in for me at that moment. It must have been the do or die situation, for I charged ahead with my sword and began to hack into the Sith soldier regardless of the laser blasts stinging my body. When he fell, I stood over him, realizing I had just killed someone. Trask took down the soldier he had battled and killed next to me. Then our eyes met in understanding and for some reason… I smiled.

I had just killed someone, and it seemed natural to me. But I had no time to reflect much on this as Trask grabbed my arm and said, "Let's go."

We ran into a storeroom which was currently occupied by two Sith soldiers scavenging the dead bodies of Republic soldiers that they had no doubt just killed. My anger was fueled by the fact that some of the dead were my newly made friends, and the violation of their personal belongings was too much for me. I charged ahead as Trask provided cover with his blaster and I hacked into the nearest Sith. Again, it was smooth and easy, and strangely… natural. When I finished with him, I ran straight over and finished off the other one Trask had been shooting at.

"Are you all right?" Trask asked, noticing my heaving breathing and seeming zeal for what I had just done. Did he sense my secret thrill, this blood lust that was quickly taking me over?

"Yeah," I said. "Let's just load up."

We grabbed some grenades from the supply container and I came across a combat suit and a longer sword which I quickly substituted for my current attire. I suppose I was truly a soldier now. Why not look like one?

When we left the supply room, we entered a big battle between Sith and Republic soldiers in the corridor and we waited a moment, out of sight, while deciding what to do.

Unfortunately, the explosions from the outside attack were bringing down some of our guys and the Sith now had them outnumbered. Trask and I decided to use our grenades in a surprise attack and managed to take down three of them with one toss. Two more came running for us and we battled them as we had the others. I fought them with my new blade, sensing their moves before they performed them, until they were dead. I really did seem to have a knack for this.

We looked upon all the carnage around us. So many dead or dying, we didn't even have time to help anyone. The ship was falling apart around us and the only thing we could focus on was our goal of reaching the bridge and the ever precious Jedi, Bastila.

Behind the next door, the sound of lightsabers could be heard. Trask and I hesitated before carefully opening the door. It wasn't Bastila. It was one of the Jedi she had brought along with her, and she was fighting an imposing Dark Jedi. Trask hissed at me to keep still and not interfere. We felt heartened to see the Dark Jedi get struck down, only to be disappointed when an explosion killed the Republic's Jedi from behind.

Two Sith soldiers ran up to the bodies and stood before the door of the Bridge. We had no option but to attack them. No one was going to come between us and our goal at that point. It was do or die. They didn't expect us to be there, so we took advantage of their surprise and overpowered them easily.

When we opened the door to the bridge, we noticed it was infested with Sith. Two ran at us straightaway and we killed them as we had grown accustomed to doing. The rest were killed by a combination of our forces and the explosions of the attack from outside. Bastila was nowhere to be seen and Trask guessed she had probably made her way to the escape pods by now and that we should do the same if we wanted to live. There was no argument from me on that point.

We tried to ignore the dead bodies that lay strewn in our path as we made our way across the bridge to the starboard section of the ship. Fighter ships were zooming by the cockpit windows, shooting at the _Endar Spire_ and sending us tilting sideways. Ahead we could see a planet, Taris I suppose.

As we entered the starboard section, we were stopped by the sight of a Dark Jedi standing at the end of the next room, looking at us calmly. But we know he was anything but calm and he meant to end our lives, as he had the countless others lying about the floor. Then Trask does something I never thought he would, something I'll never forget.

He turned to me and said, "You get to the escape pod. I'll hold him off." And before I could stop him, he ran toward the Dark Jedi.

"NO!" I yelled. But Trask paid no heed. He shut the door behind him to give me more time to flee. Why did he do this? Wouldn't we have had a better chance if we fought him together? But in reality, I knew we both would have died. I can't think of the sacrifice Trask made for me now. It strikes me deeply that someone who barely knew me more than a week would give his life to save mine. I'm humbled by his courage and saddened at the loss. Too many good people have died this day.

Carth's voice came over my wrist communicator again and this time he addressed me personally. He said he'd been tracking my position through the _Endar Spire's _life support systems, and that I'm the last surviving crew member on board. I suppose that answered my question of whether or not Trask still lived, though the thought fueled my anger against the Sith even more.

Carth went on to say that Bastila's escape pod had already left and that I should come as soon as possible as he would not be able to wait much longer for me. He warned me that there were more Sith up ahead and to be careful.

I knew without Trask by my side, I would have to be more cautious, so I flipped on my stealth belt. Sneaking was something I'm very good at. I suppose it was a skill that helped me in my previous smuggling occupation.

I entered the hall quietly and saw only one Sith soldier standing guard among the wreckage. I could have just passed him by, and made my way into the next room, but I was so angry at the sight of my fellow crewmembers dead on the floor, and the thought of poor Trask cut down by that Dark Jedi, that I snuck behind the Sith soldier and struck him down from behind. You would think killing someone in this manner would be considered cowardly, but I assure you, in that moment, I couldn't care less as long as the slime was dead.

I approached the next closed door in stealth mode as well, having been encouraged by my last success. There were two Sith soldiers in this room and they looked about to see what had opened the door. I walked straight up to one and sliced deep into his throat between his breastplate and helmet. He didn't stand a chance. Now exposed, however, the other soldier began to fire at me, so I ran about the center table and struck him as he slipped on the blood of his fallen comrade. I was surprised by my seeming skill with the blade. Perhaps I had seen battle before? I wish I could remember.

Carth's voice came back on my communicator, and warned me that a whole squadron of Sith were in the next room and I may want to find a way to thin their numbers a bit. Looking about, I found some repair parts and rigged up a disabled battle droid, reactivating its shields and its weapons, and sent it on its merry way. This is one of the perks of having good repair abilities. The droid entered the next room while I hid safely behind the door and he killed everyone for me. I wish I had found that droid earlier. But then, it would have taken a certain satisfaction away from my need for revenge.

When I entered the room, all were dead including the squad leader, who happened to have a very nice prototype vibroblade that he would no longer need.

The next room was my destination. There stood that handsome pilot, Carth Onasi, looking very pleased that I had made it alive. I was pleased as well. We scuttled into the last remaining escape pod and launched toward the planet below. I remember the rumbling and the shaking of the pod, even though we were strapped in tight. But that is the last thing I remembered about that day. The impact of the pod striking Taris had caused me to hit my head and fall unconscious.

For the next two days I was recovering from my head trauma, dreaming strange dreams and mumbling in my sleep (so Carth says).

I awoke a few hours ago, completely disoriented. Carth was here and he explained that we were in an abandoned apartment in the Upper City of Taris. He had dragged me away from the crashed escape pod before the Sith could arrive and then he found this place for us to hide in. Apparently, I have been falling in and out of consciousness for a few days and thrashing about in my sleep.

"Thanks for saving me," I told him. I looked about the apartment. It wasn't much, but it would have to do. I was pleased to see a workbench on one side of the room and I was itching to tinker with that prototype vibroblade I had found. But there were so many other things to discuss.

"I've never left anyone behind if I could help it," Carth said. "Besides, I need your help if we are to find Bastila and get off this planet."

I was reminded of Trask, who also thought Bastila was so important and worth risking ones life for. But then, Trask also gave his life for me. What caused such selfless devotion in people? Did I possess such a quality?

He began to explain our current situation. The Sith had taken control of Taris and were patrolling the streets outside. "But I think we'll be able to move around unnoticed," he added. "No one's looking for us. Bastila won't have that luxury." He had already scouted about while I was recovering and filled me in on the current state of the city.

He explained that the Sith had imposed a quarantine, not allowing people to move freely between the three levels of Taris. The top level, the Upper City, was where the planet's wealthiest lived. The Lower City contained warring swoop gangs, and the Under City was rife with some sort of dangerous creatures called Rakghouls. Unfortunately Carth thinks that Bastila's escape pod was one of the ones reported to have landed in the Under City. How we were suppose to get there to check it out was anyone's guess.

Then to make matters worse, Carth also said the Sith have blockaded the planet and are stopping all ships from leaving.

It seems we are effectively stuck! I sat back down on my bed and accepted some food that Carth had brought. I then asked him why Bastila was so important and if he really thought she was still alive. What if those Rakghouls already got her?

"Bastila's important to the Republic's war efforts. She has a rare skill called Battle Meditation that can encourage the will of large groups of people to fight on or to feel hopeless and give up," he explained. "She was with the strike team that killed Darth Revan and won a key battle for the Republic. Unfortunately, Malak, her apprentice, got away and has now taken Revan's place as Lord of the Sith. I think he knows that Bastila is now on Taris and the Sith will be looking for her relentlessly. We need to find her first."

"How do you know they haven't got her already?" I asked.

"I've been hanging out at the local cantina and listening to gossip. Off duty Sith go there as well," Carth explained. "So far the talk has been that they are still searching for survivors and that none have yet been found."

It's obvious to me that Carth wants to get going and he's been waiting impatiently for me to recover and find this Jedi. He paced around the room while I ate and I asked him to tell me more about Revan and Malak.

He explained that Revan and Malak were once Jedi. But they were young and headstrong and went against the wishes of the council when they decided to help the Republic fight against the Mandalorians in the Outer Rim. They were victorious, however. Then something happened out there that changed them. No one really knows what it was, but Revan and Malak became corrupted by the Dark Side. They recruited ex-Jedi that had fallen to the Dark Side. They also gathered ex-Republic soldiers who had fought for them during the Mandalorian wars and made them into the next generation of Sith, turning them against the people who they had always protected.

Carth then became very moody as he mentioned his home world was one of the first to be attacked by the Sith. They devastated the planet with their battleships.

"I'm sorry, Carth," I said. "That must have been very difficult for you."

"I really don't want to talk about it," he snapped. "I don't really talk about it with anyone. I prefer action to words."

It's strange, but I think Carth is angry at himself for some reason. He spoke as if he was to blame for what happened to his planet. I decided not to ask him anymore questions for awhile, at least until he seems more receptive to talk. He does intrigue me, however. He's a mystery to unravel and not a bad looking one at that.

I wonder what kinds of things I muttered in my sleep out loud, hopefully nothing too embarrassing. I only remember one of my dreams. It was a dream of Bastila and she was fighting a Dark Jedi. Why I dreamed that, I couldn't say. Perhaps the image of the Jedi fighting on board of the _Endar Spire _affected me deeply. Perhaps the image of Trask sacrificing himself for me, triggered some sort of revenge scenario.

Trask. I'll never forget the face of that cold Dark Jedi standing there like the Sentinel of Death. So many were lost and only a handful of us made it out. Maybe Carth and I are the only ones living to tell the tale. Well, I suppose if I have to be stuck on a planet with someone, then Carth definitely wasn't so bad a choice.

I finished eating and we headed out of the apartment for a look around. It seemed we were the only humans in this apartment wing as the rest were all aliens that we came upon. One positive thing that had not been affected by my memory loss, was that I hadn't lost my language abilities. I know many different alien languages; but where I learned them, I cannot say. I suppose they came in handy as a smuggler.

Carth showed me the wreckage of our escape pod that landed in the Upper City. Some droids were doing an analysis on it. There were too many Sith walking around and the Upper City citizens seemed to stare at us in distaste. I soon grew tired and asked Carth if we could continue our search in the morning after a good night's rest.

He reluctantly agreed. His moodiness and impatience made me smile to myself for some reason.

**Day Seven**

Carth woke me bright and early this morning, eager to be heading off. After a quick breakfast, we counted how many credits we had between us and the figure came to 257.

"We need to find a way to earn some extra credits," I told him. Somehow I got the feeling we just may be here awhile. Carth promised to keep his ears open for any opportunities and we were off.

Our plan of action was to start questioning everyone about the fate of the escape pods. Perhaps someone, somewhere, would know something that could set us on the right trail.

As soon as we stepped out of our apartment, we witnessed a Sith officer with two battle droids hassling two Duros. They announced they were doing a raid on the apartments. That was definitely something Carth and I didn't want! When the officer shot down one of the Duros, Carth and I knew we couldn't stand by and let him continue.

We made short work of the officer and his droids to the relief of the remaining Duros. He thanked us for helping him and promised to move the bodies to a different location so the Sith could not blame the apartment residents.

A Twi'lek merchant by the name of Larrim saw what had happened, and explained that the illegal aliens in this apartment block were discriminated against and most of them were not allowed to walk the streets of the Upper City. It bothered me that in this day and age there was still so much intolerance for other species. I happen to find all cultures fascinating. Perhaps that is why I learned so many different languages. Even Larrim said he couldn't answer any of our questions, because it would be bad for his business if other aliens saw him speaking to humans.

We took a look at the items in his kiosk. He tried to sell us an energy shield, but Carth and I couldn't spend any credits just yet. We needed to eat, after all. But there was a very nice Sound Dampening Stealth Unit that caught my eye. Too bad we were so poor.

None of the aliens walking around this apartment block wanted to speak with us, it seemed.

"We really need to check out the apartments," I reminded Carth. "What if there are other soldiers like us hiding out? Maybe Bastila could here."

He agreed, even though we both felt a bit like thugs as we picked open locked doors and apologized to the aliens within who were frightened. We gave the excuse that we were searching for someone.

The apartment next to ours contained a human woman named Dia. After her initial scolding at our forced entry, we struck up an interesting conversation with her. Apparently she was hiding out here because there was a bounty put on her head. With some coaxing, she decided to trust us and told us her story.

She was a nice woman and we spent a good part of the morning chatting with her about her plight. A man named Holdan had put the bounty on her because she had cut him with her vibroblade when she refused his drunken advances. We were appalled that he was allowed to put a bounty on her for that, but she explained he worked for Davik, the local crime boss, and hence he could get away with it. It seemed that the Sith weren't the only ones running things on Taris.

We promised to help her if we could find this Holdan and speak to him. Dia was a nice woman and didn't deserve this in the least. Dia and I started to chat about the injustices towards women from men like Holdan and I knew Carth was becoming impatient to be off again. Perhaps he was not enjoying the bit of venting Dia was doing towards the male sex. For some reason, I found myself enjoying his discomfort immensely. Am I cruel?

"I don't know if you should be promising to help that woman out when we have more pressing matters to see to," Carth said as we left Dia's apartment.

"What would it hurt to talk to this Holdan fellow if we ran into him? I just feel bad that she's stuck in a little apartment waiting for someone to come and kill her."

"Yeah, I guess that's pretty sad," Carth agreed. Then he said, "Look up ahead, another human in this place."

We approached an old man who was cleaning the floors and he introduced himself as Kadir, the janitor. He assumed we were spacers, stuck here because of the quarantine. Well, at least he was half right. He didn't seem to know much as he explained that he hardly got out these days and directed us to the cantina where he told us we'd probably have better luck finding information.

Carth and I decided that the old guy was probably right. A cantina would be a good place to gather information. After a few drinks, most people seem willing to talk more than they usually do. Perhaps even Carth could loosen up more and tell me about himself.

"Come on," I urged Carth. "Let's go mingle with the locals."

**Please review this chapter and let me know your thoughts. Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you to those who have been reading and reviewing this story so far. I hope you're enjoying this particular spin on things. As far as whether Skye will be light or dark side, I'm not really going to commit to either one right now. I want to make her real, most of all, and I know that we don't always do the right things in real life. This is about her inner struggle and her relationships with others. You can judge for yourself whether you think she's a good or bad person - or maybe somewhere in between.

Disclaimer: I can claim no ownership of KOTOR and make no money from the writing of this fiction.

**Day 7 (continued)**

Carth and I made our way over the plaza and toward the Cantina. We stopped by the Equipment Emporium that the old janitor, Kadir, told us of. The proprietor, Keebla Yurt, was very friendly. We asked her about the escape pods and she said she heard that a couple of them crashed down in the Under City. She was certain that anything of value from them had already been taken by the Sith, the swoop gangs, or Davik's men.

Davik, a name we were starting to hear a lot. I asked her about him and she explained he was part of the big intergalactic crime syndicate called the Exchange. He dealt in smuggling, slavery, extortion and everything illegal. He even made Keebla pay a monthly fee - a 'protection' fee. But, apparently, Keebla didn't mind as she received most of her merchandise through Davik's operations. She just doesn't ask where it comes from.

Keebla also told us about the two main swoop gangs in the Lower City: the Black Vulcars and the Hidden Beks. She warned us to stay out of the Lower City because these two gangs were at war and many innocent people were getting killed just walking down the street. She also mentioned that the Sith aren't doing anything to help the situation.

Carth and I left Keebla's shop and made our way to the Cantina. We found a table and decided to order a few drinks and something to eat. Taking one sip of Tarisian ale, I decided I wanted to know more about this man I am working with. Carth had already downed half his glass of ale, and I could tell he was on the verge of intoxication as he began looking at me in a flirtatious manner. I didn't mind. He was, well, adorable for lack of a better word.

Somewhere in our conversation, he slipped in a comment of me being beautiful and I asked him if he was flirting with me. He denied it, saying it was just a habit.

A habit? I wanted to laugh, but I think I would have confused him at this point. I always thought that one would have to repeat an action over and over for it to become a habit, and as far as I knew, this was the first time he had called me beautiful, unless he says that to all the women.

I told him I wanted to get to know him better and he became a bit defensive. Not the reaction I was hoping for. But the clever man quickly turned the table on me and began asking me about my past.

I explained that I was a smuggler, recruited by the Republic fleet for my knowledge and skills.

"A smuggler?" he said. "I should have guessed. Isn't it odd, however, that a smuggler who was added to the crew at the last minute just happens to be alive?"

I didn't quite get what he was saying. He told me that Bastila specifically requested me for this mission, and the fact that I happened to survive out of all the people on board seemed suspicious to him.

This conversation definitely wasn't going the way I had wanted. It started out great, with flirting, and now Carth is accusing me of having something to do with what happened on the _Endar Spire_! Can you believe it?

When I expressed my irritation at his accusation, he said it was nothing personal. It was just that he didn't trust anyone. He hinted at someone betraying him before and that's why he learned not to take things at face value.

It was obviously a hurt that ran deep, because he wouldn't elaborate on what happened and he clamed up when I tried to dig further. Stubborn man, not even Tarisian ale could get him talking.

"Well, we are on the same side, Carth," I said to him. We had finished our meal and I told him we needed to mingle and speak to people in order to find our answers. "I think it's best if we separate for now. People seem more approachable when they are alone." Carth, who was still brooding, nodded his head. I watch as he sauntered off, approaching a woman at another table who immediately looked at Carth with interest.

I rolled my eyes and said, "Oh, please!" Getting up from the table, I walked off in the opposite direction. I went into the music room which featured a Bith band and two Twi'lek dancers. This was a room populated with men, as it seemed the skimpily clad dancers held a certain appeal to them.

A man named Jergan introduced himself to me. He was a big fan of this band apparently and he asked me if I'd like to meet them for 20 credits. "No, I'm not interested," I told him. I walked off; irritated at having a sales pitch thrown at me the moment I walked in. I noticed a man standing in the back of the music room and decided that he looked approachable.

He was friendly, if not a bit guarded. His name was Yun Genda, a Sith junior officer with the Sith occupation force. A flag went up in my mind and I knew that I just may be able to get some information of value from him. I decided to pour on the charm. Like most men, he enjoyed talking about himself and it didn't surprise me that he wasn't happy being stationed on Taris. He explained that most of the locals didn't like the Sith and so it was quite lonely and he was not having much fun.

I made an extra effort at softening my gaze and letting him see my interest. It worked. He ended up inviting me to a party tonight that some of the Sith were throwing to let off a little steam and have some fun. He said, "I really would like to see you again."

"I would like that, too," I flirted. He gave me directions and then left for his shift at the military base. I sighed, thinking that a room of drunken Sith ought to be a good place to hear news.

I walked out of the music room, proud of having made a date so quickly, only to have my mood dashed by the snobby comments of Tarisian nobles. Some looked at me in distaste and I overheard comments about my clothing. Stupid prigs! I quickly made my way into a large room where people were gathered, watching a monitor screen.

It seemed to be a duel of some sort between an old man and a blaster-wielding opponent. The old man dropped his blaster on the floor and the other man took the opportunity to shoot him down. I thought it was a comedy and I let out a loud laugh causing the other people around to look at me in surprise. I pointed at the screen and said, "Did you see that? That was so pathetic!"

"That was Deadeye Duncan," a spectator replied. "He always loses."

"Always?" I ask. "Why does he keep doing it?"

"Because he has tenacity, if not talent," a voice answered from behind the crowd. My eyes sought out the man with the voice and I made my way through the crowd to him. "Hello, I haven't seen you around here before. I'm Marl, one of the duelists," he said.

"Nice to meet you, Marl. I'm Skye Avery. What are these duels all about?" I asked in curiosity.

"Two combatants enter the ring and one leaves on a stretcher. No one dies, however. Death matches became illegal awhile back," he explained.

I had a good talk with him about the other duelists and how the duels operate. Apparently there are good credits to be made here. _'Carth and I needed credits,' _I thought. I glanced over at Deadeye Duncan and I knew it would be easy money indeed.

It didn't surprise me that a Hutt ran the duel operation. Wherever there was gambling, there seemed to be a Hutt. I walked up to the Hutt in charge, Ajuur, and let him know of my interest in dueling. He was very happy to have someone new because everyone was tired of watching the same old duelists. We decided on a duel name, the Mysterious Stranger, and he arranged a fight with Deadeye Duncan.

I had to wait an hour for Ajuur to announce it to the public and for the spectators to purchase seats for the duel. I walked up to Deadeye and introduced myself. That was a mistake. He was very offensive and threatened to wipe the ring with me. So much for good sportsmanship.

I left for the moment and watched the Pazaak players. A man named Niklos, who seemed very full of himself, was laughing at everyone who lost to him while his Pazaak groupie hung onto his arm and giggled at his bad comments. No one I met seemed to want to talk until I found an old man, Garouk, by the Pazaak table. He told me pretty much the same thing that Keebla did about Taris. He also had a Pazaak deck he was selling for 50 credits because he was giving up gambling. "Too old," he said. "It's a young man's game."

'Or a young woman,' I thought. I looked guiltily around the Cantina, hoping that Carth wouldn't see me spend 50 of our precious credits on a Pazaak deck. I felt confident that I could win the credits back and then some. Pazaak didn't look that difficult. The kind old Garouk also gave me a Pazaak lesson for free and I picked up a lot of good tips from him.

By now, however, it was time for my duel and I rushed back to the dueling room and through the door to the arena. "Where have you been?" snapped Ajuur.

"I'm here, aren't I?" I snapped back.

I stepped into the starting spot and looked across the arena to Deadeye Duncan on the other side. "Remember, don't finish him off after he goes down," warned Ajuur. Even Ajuur knew Deadeye was done for.

I glanced around the arena at the spectators while the announcer began introducing us to the crowd. It was a heady feeling to have all these people clapping and cheering for you. Or perhaps they were cheering for Deadeye. 'Who knows,' I shrugged. I pulled out my vibroblade and watched Duncan as he held his blaster with a shaky hand.

"Easy money," I mumbled.

"What did you say?" Deadeye yelled at me.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, waiting for the starting signal.

"I'm going to pulverize you, fresh meat!" Deadeye taunted me. I looked at him and the thought came to me that if I but waved my blade at him, he'd wet his pants. The crowd seemed to love his bravado, however. They cheered at each of his forced comments.

"How dare you think to go against Deadeye Duncan," he yelled at me. "I will mess you up!"

The signal went off and I ran toward him. His blaster shook as he shot off round after round at me, missing most of the time. "Ahhh," Deadeye yelled when I raised my sword and took him down with one strike. The crowd cheered, but I knew that it was not much of a show. Surely they had better fighters than this?

Ajuur paid me 100 credits for that duel and I felt less guilty about buying that Pazaak deck when I left the arena. Carth was waiting outside the room, his arms crossed and an irritated look on his face.

"Great way to keep a low profile!" he snapped. "I happen to walk by one the monitors and low and behold, there you are."

"Oh, Carth, don't be that way. Look, I've made 100 credits. It's an easy way to support us while we search for Bastila," I told him. "Besides, I didn't use my name."

"What if you had gotten hurt?" he persisted.

"Oh, please," I said. "Did you see that guy? These duelists are not very tough." I smiled at him and added, "Aren't you happy that I made some credits?"

Carth sighed and said, "Yeah, I suppose it's a benefit."

"I thought you were busy with that blonde…" I prodded, pressing for information.

"Sarna?" Carth replied. "Yeah, we talked for awhile. She's a Sith soldier. Complained about her job quite a bit, but she didn't tell me much of value. Clamed up after awhile when I asked too many questions. How about you, any luck?"

"Maybe," I answered. "I met a Sith officer, Yun Genda. He's invited me to a party tonight."

"A Sith party?" Carth asked with wide eyes.

"No, a rakghoul party," I answered, sarcastically. "Of course a Sith party. I can overhear all their drunken comments. Perhaps they'll talk about Bastila or the escape pods."

"I don't like it," Carth frowned. "I should go with you."

I shook my head. "No, Yun was hoping to see me again, you understand? I can't arrive with another man." Carth seemed put out by this and shrugged, deciding to punish me with silence.

We walked out of the Cantina to return to our apartment, only to find two Rodians waiting to attack us. We fought them and took their equipment away. I thought the Upper City was supposed to be safe?

"Stupid brat!" Carth muttered, looking down the street.

"Pardon me?" I asked, insulted.

"Not you," Carth replied. "Those thugs were sent by a family of nobles."

"Why?" I asked in confusion.

"Well, I kind of insulted the daughter when I went to the bar for a drink. She thought I was the waiter and she was very snippy with me. Let's just say a snipped back," Carth grinned.

"You sure know how to make friends," I replied.

It was back to the silent cold-shouldered Carth. Did I mention how handsome I find brooding men? A secret part of me thrilled that Carth seemed jealous of my date with Yun tonight. Didn't he know that it was all part of the job? I looked at him as we walked back to the apartment and knew that I'd rather spend an evening holed up with Carth in our apartment, than attend a drunken Sith party with Yun Genda pawing at me. But we needed information, and what better place to get it than straight from the mouth of a Sith.

**Day 8**

I've just woke up and my head is hurting bad. I underestimated the effects of Tarisian ale last night and I think that the Sith did as well. Let me recount the events at the party.

I arrived at the apartment in which Yun had directed me and found the party in full swing. Yun was very happy to see me. He obviously didn't think I would show. I also saw Sarna there and remembered feeling relieved that I had told Carth not to come to the party.

Earlier, I put the Pazaak deck in his hand and told him to win us some credits. I was happy he didn't ask where the cards came from. I think he assumed that I had brought them with me from the _Endar Spire_ in my pack.

So with Carth at the Cantina, I spent my evening dancing, drinking and pushing Yun's hands away from certain parts of my body. I wish I hadn't drunk so much myself as I cannot seem to remember who said what, and even what was said by whom. Needless to say, we all pathetically passed out on the floor and I was roused in the wee hours of the night by the scowling and concerned face of Carth looming over me.

When I hadn't returned from the party, he came searching and found us all on the floor in drunken stupors. I was happy to see him. "Carth…," I slurred, "do you want to dance with me?"

"You're drunk," he stated, trying to help me to my feet again. "I suppose you didn't get much information tonight, did you?"

He had his arm about my waist as I held on to him unsteadily. "No…," I said. "But… look over there, Carth, - uniforms." I had seen the uniforms stacked in a corner earlier and I knew that if we possessed a few of those, we could get into places we normally couldn't.

Carth seemed thoughtful as he looked at the uniforms. We took a pack of one of the Sith and dumped everything out of it. Then Carth shoved two Sith uniforms inside of it before helping me stagger back to our apartment. His arm was about me and my head kept falling onto his shoulder. He was so warm and smelt so good. It was almost worth this hangover to feel his arm around me like that. How long has it been since I felt so cared for?

When we arrived back at the apartment, he placed me on my bed and I fell asleep immediately.

Now it's morning and Carth is anxious to be off again. My head is fit to burst and I'm not in the mood for exploring. But, alas, we need to find a way off this planet with its head-splitting ale. Carth says there is a medical facility down the street and that maybe they'd have something there that could help me. Sounds like that will be our first stop then.

At least Carth seems nicer today. Perhaps he feels my hangover is punishment enough.

OOOOO

**Please send me a review of this chapter and let me know your thoughts. The feedback really helps and it is encouraging as well. Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own KOTOR and make no money from the writing of this fiction.

**Day 8 (continued)**

We made it to the medical facility and met a very kind man, Zelka Forn, who was the healer in charge. He was able to rid me of my headache with a modified Kolto solution. I decided to speak further with him as he seemed a fair and generous sort.

Carth and I asked the usual questions regarding the Sith and Taris. Zelka seemed genuinely afraid of the Sith, worried that they would shut him down out of spite. So far, the Sith had only questioned him. As for Taris, Zelka seemed to carry more liberal views than the rest of the Upper City residents. In fact, he described the people of the Upper City as selfish, greedy, arrogant and prejudiced.

As far as the Lower City went, he gave us the same warnings about the swoop gangs and Davik's men, recommending we go armed if we went down there. He really felt angry toward Davik, though Davik left him alone and didn't make him pay a 'protection' fee like Keebla Yurt and the other shop owners. His medical facility didn't make any profits, so Davik wasn't interested.

The Under City, he explained were where the criminals were put. They were called the Outcasts and no one ever leaves once they become an Outcast. Even the children of the criminals must stay down there permanently. It was obvious that Zelka felt most of them did not deserve to be down there. He explained how he tried to send them medical supplies whenever he was able. He only felt bad that he had no cure for the Rakghoul disease. It was with great sorrow that Zelka explained how the scientists at the military base were perfecting an antidote for the disease just before the Sith swooped down and took over. The Sith refuse anyone access to the laboratories and are keeping all the serum for their patrols they send into the Under City.

I told Zelka that perhaps I could get a hold of a sample for him. Carth looked at me in surprise and Zelka said that it would be impossible and even foolish to attempt such a thing as it would require going down into the Under City and attacking a Sith patrol.

Obviously Zelka thought that it was beyond me. As foolish as it did sound, somehow, inside, I felt I could do it. Carth looked at me as if I were an over-confident fool, but I wasn't going to take my words back. We did have to go into the Under City if we wanted to find Bastila's pod, so what would it hurt to take down a few Sith and obtain some serum for Zelka?

And speaking of escape pods, I asked Zelka what he knew of them. The man became very defensive, angry even. It was obvious he knew something but feared to tell us. It was then something strange happened to me, something that flowed so easily from within me. I heard myself speaking and yet it came so effortlessly, as if I didn't have to put any thought into my words. I said, "Don't worry, I'm not with the Sith. I won't betray your secret if you tell me."

Zelka looked at me in confusion for a moment, before his whole demeanor changed. He went from defensive to understanding. He said, "I guess… I guess I can tell you my secret." It was as if he was repeating the words I had wanted him to say.

Carth was speechless as he observed Zelka's sudden change and I could tell that he found it quite odd.

Zelka led us into a back room where there were two Republic soldiers floating in Kolto tanks. He told us that they were too badly injured and wouldn't survive long. He had been hiding them because of his fear of the Sith. Carth was very pleased that Zelka was kind enough to show compassion for those men by making their last days more comfortable.

We promised Zelka we wouldn't tell and went on our way. Unfortunately, Zelka's assistant, Gurney, stopped us, offering us a 'deal.' He heard us tell Zelka we'd get his Rakghoul serum and Gurney said if we brought the serum to Davik Kang instead, we could make some very good credits.

"What would Davik want with the serum?" I asked.

Gurney explained that Davik would sell it at a profit, whereas Zelka would practically give it away for free.

"That way only the rich would be able to afford it," Carth said, angrily.

Basically, we told Gurney what he could do with his 'deal', and went on our way.

As Carth and I walked out the door, we were facing some thugs shaking down an old man. From the conversation we heard, it appeared that the old man owed money to Davik and couldn't pay. These thugs obviously were collecting for Davik and it appeared that they intended to kill the unarmed man as a result.

Carth was quick to respond. He pulled out his blaster and said, "Leave the man alone."

The thugs looked at us and laughed, obviously feeling that we were no threat to them.

"Witnesses," one of them grumbled. "Davik doesn't like witnesses."

As soon as they moved to fire at us, I had already advanced my vibroblade, slicing the head clean off of one of the thugs, while Carth blasted at the other two. I aided him in taking down the third before I noticed that Carth had been hit in the leg a few times. "Go back to Zelka and get healed, I'll take care of this," I told him.

But Carth stayed and waited, looking at the Sith patrolling the streets. It surprised us both that the Sith did nothing. Why did they even bother patrolling if they weren't going to keep law and order?

I walked up to the old man, who was thanking us profusely. He went on to tell us about his debt to Davik and he feared that Davik would be sending more men.

"How much do you owe?" I asked.

"One hundred credits," he said.

His eyes opened in surprise as I pulled out my pouch and transferred one hundred credits to him. "You're giving me the credits?" he asked in surprise. Then he thanked me over and over before going on his way to pay Davik back.

I turned and saw Carth, who was looking at me in appreciation. "That was very generous of you," he said. "Not many people would hand over one hundred credits to a stranger like that."

"They are only credits, Carth," I replied. "It's not healthy to form attachments to anything, and that includes credits." I don't know why I said that. It seemed to just come out of me.

"That's very philosophical for a smuggler," he replied, looking me over curiously. "It sounds like something a Jedi would say."

I looked at him with amusement and laughed. "Well, I'm far from a Jedi. Come on, let's get Zelka to tend to your leg. Then we can find out where the entrance to the Lower City is. I don't think anyone in the Upper City knows much about the escape pods. We have to question those who actually saw something."

OOOOOO

That afternoon, we finally found the Lower City entrance near the now occupied Sith Military Base. As expected, it was guarded by the Sith. The Sith guard turned us away, saying that we needed the proper authorization papers to get down there.

Carth and I walked away, finding a place to sit and form our plan. "How about the uniforms?" I said. "That guard is letting the Sith patrols go down there."

Carth nodded, "It's a good thing those uniforms cover everything so completely. It just might work."

We went back to retrieve the uniforms, slipping them on in a secluded place outside our apartment as we didn't want to frighten our alien neighbors. The other Sith patrols nodded at us as we passed, easily accepting us as one of their own.

When we reached the entrance lift to the Lower City, the guard waved us through. We were surprised to find that no guard stood at the exit into the Lower City. Like some hellish, lawless dream, the hall was full of gang members hassling each other.

Immediately, before our eyes, we witnessed an execution and when the executioners saw us, we figured out quickly that they had no love for the Sith. We jumped into the fray with little choice but to kill all present. The bloody mess on the ground, when we were through, gained little sympathy from me.

Carth pulled off his helmet and said, "I think it would be safer if we weren't Sith."

"I don't think it will make a difference to the scum down here," I replied. I removed my uniform all the same and we stashed them away from view.

"You all right?" Carth asked, concerned.

I looked at him, questioningly. "Yeah, why do you ask?"

"I don't know. It's just that… you seem more skilled than a common smuggler would be," he replied. "Where did you learn to handle a vibroblade like that?"

I stared at him for a moment, thinking. "I really don't know," I said in all honesty.

We began to walk down the hall, looking for people to question. Hopefully not everyone down here would attack us before even bothering to speak. Carth, however, wasn't satisfied with my answer.

"What do you mean? How can you not know?" he probed.

I sighed heavily. "Listen, I just… don't," I replied. I looked at his face and saw that previous look of mistrust come over him. I knew he wouldn't accept that answer.

"Carth…, this is the wrong time to stop and talk about it. I promise I'll tell you more later. Let's just do what we came here to do - for now."

What would it hurt to tell him the truth? To tell him that I have no memories of most of my life? A part of me wanted to share that with him, yet another part of me felt guarded, as if admitting my deficiency would make me seem weak. Weakness - just the thought of it made me sick. I would not, no, I could not accept being thought of as weak. That much I did know about myself.

"Fair enough," Carth answered, stiffly. "But we will talk about it."

We found a Rodian standing outside a cantina. He reminded us to behave and not use weapons inside. This was ironic considering the moment we walked in, three aliens had blasters pointed at a very tough looking man. Carth put up his arm as if to hold me back from interfering. "I really don't think that man needs our help," Carth whispered. "Let's just stay out of this."

The aliens were taunting the man, telling him they were going to kill him. Then the man began to count, which peaked my curiosity. The aliens became even more amused, but not for long. The man quickly set down an explosive that went off and blinded the aliens, and us too for that matter. Blaster fire went off and when our eyesight returned, we saw the tough man with his blaster out. He casually walked out of the cantina.

A Twi'lek man, who introduced himself as Uriah, was standing nearby us. He told us that the man that had just walked out was Calo Nord, the most dangerous bounty hunter. He currently is working for Davik Kang.

"Davik Kang?" I asked. "Do you know where we might find Davik?"

Uriah opened his eyes in fear. "He's well protected on his estate. He rarely leaves. Zax is who you want to see about any business you might have with Davik."

"Zax?"

"He's in the bounty office, down the hall," Uriah explained. "He can tell you anything you want to know about the Lower City and Davik. I really can't tell you anything."

I turned to Carth. "Well, I guess Zax is our man." But man he was not. It came as no surprise that Zax was a Hutt. Nevertheless, we needed information and I knew that it would not be free. I bargained with the Hutt, getting him to accept 50 credits instead of the one hundred that he wanted for information. We found out that he actually had two jobs, running the bounty office for the government and hiring thugs to kill Davik's marks.

He wasn't able to tell us much that we didn't already hear from someone else. He told us about the swoop gang war between the Black Vulkars and the Hidden Beks. He claimed that if there was anything left of the escape pods, the Black Vulkars had it, probably in their base.

"How can we get into their base?" I asked.

Zax laughed and said that no one could get through that door, but if there was a way in, then Gadon Thek, the leader of the Hidden Beks, might be able to tell us. That was one lead Carth and I would need to follow up on.

I asked Zax about the bounties he had, thinking that it might be a good way to earn a few extra credits. There were currently two government bounties and three bounties for Davik. Carth expressed his displeasure at Davik's bounties, muttering that Davik can do his own dirty work. But he didn't seem to have anything against the government bounties.

When Zax mentioned Dia's bounty, I asked him for more information. He told me what Dia already had and said if I needed more information, I should talk to Holdan, the man who had the bounty placed on Dia in the first place.

"Oh, you can be sure I'll talk to Holdan," I promised, disgusted. "Where can I find him?"

"Holdan likes to watch the Twi'lek dancers in the music room," Zax replied.

"Come on, Carth," I said, "let's find Holdan." But when I turned about, I saw that Carth was already watching a Twi'lek dancer in the corner of the room. She was doing a private dance for a Twi'lek man.

"Not you, too," I grumbled.

"What?" he replied, absently.

"Men!" I exclaimed. I stopped and watched a moment as well, wondering what the big fascination was. The dancer began to cry and I heard the male Twi'lek say. "I'm sorry. But without a partner, I cannot tell if you will be good enough." This gave me an idea.

I turned to Carth and said. "You think only Twi'leks can dance?"

"Huh?" he asked, confused.

"Watch this," I replied, walking up to the Twi'leks. "I'll be her partner."

The Twi'lek woman said, "No, thank you, I can't risk my audition with an amateur."

"What choice do you have?" I replied. "He obviously won't hire you without one."

She thought about it for a moment before agreeing, telling me to keep it simple and just copy every move that she did. I took off my jacket, hoping that Carth would see that my figure was just as becoming as any Twi'lek's. He looked at me with a small grin, thinking that I'd probably screw this up. Oh, how I love a challenge.

But Carth didn't know what a fast learner I was. He couldn't possibly know how intuitively things came to me. Lynn, the Twi'lek woman, was amazed that I could keep up with her. Watching Lynn dance in front of me, it felt as if I already knew what she would be doing next, and everything flowed so smoothly. I looked at Carth with a smile of triumph as I moved sensuously around the floor. Carth's expression turned from doubtful to impressed, and maybe something else.

When I had managed to land Lynn the spot with the dance troop she so wanted to belong to, she gratefully thanked me and went off to get ready for fame and fortune.

Carth came up to me and said, "Very impressive. Is there anything that you can't do?"

"Well," I grinned, "I can't seem to get a certain man to completely trust me."

Carth lost some of his smile and answered, "Completely trusting anyone is a foolish mistake. Let's go find Holdan. Then we can visit Gadon Thek and see what he knows about the escape pods."

There were many men in the music room gazing at the dancers. I had only to look for the slimiest one and I knew we had our man. "Are you Holdan?" I asked.

He looked at my body, his gaze lingering a bit too long on my chest. "Who wants to know, baby," he gushed.

"I was told that I could find you here," I answered, stepping away from his leaning torso.

"Well, you found me," he answered. "I usually come to watch the Twi'lek dancers, but I'd much prefer a woman of my own species, if you know what I mean. Come on, baby, I'll by you a drink."

Carth now loomed up behind me. "I don't think so, pal."

Holdan glared at Carth, angrily. "She wants to be with me, so you better get way from us if you know what's good for you. I work for Davik Kang!"

I stepped between them. "Just stop!" I looked at Carth and said, "Carth, let me speak to him."

"Speak? Baby, I'm a man of action, not words," Holdan answered, leering at her body again. It was obvious that the man had one too many drinks.

I pushed back on his chest. "Keep your hormones in check. I'm just here about Dia."

"Dia?" Holdan spat. "What about her? You a bounty hunter?"

"Not in particular," I replied. "But I will hunt you if you don't take that bounty off her head."

"What! I can't do that! The bitch cut me with her vibroblade," he replied, vehemently. "I can't let her get away with that."

"You deserved it," Carth replied.

"I just tried to get a little fresh with her," Holdan defended. "I wasn't going to hurt her. I didn't deserve to get cut for that."

"And she doesn't deserve to die for defending her virtue," I stated.

It was lucky for Holdan that he appeared remorseful in that moment as I was about to take this conversation to the next level.

"I do feel bad about what happened," he said. "But if I back down, it would make me look bad."

"What will it take for you to back down?" I asked, straightforward.

"Not less than two hundred credits," he replied, assuming that I wouldn't give him that much.

I glanced back at Carth and he looked in my eyes. I made a decision.

I turned back to Holdan and said, "I'll be back with your two hundred credits. When I do, you'll go straight to Zax and remove that bounty." I leaned forward and whispered, "Or I will remove your head."

Holdan looked at me with a smirk, "Baby, for two hundred credits I'll even throw in an hour in my room. Just you and I, of course."

"That won't be necessary," I stated, turning about and leading Carth out of there.

"So where are we going to get two hundred credits?" Carth asked as we left the cantina.

"I'll win it in the duel ring tonight," I answered. I felt a hand on my shoulder, stopping me. I turned about to see Carth looking at me, amused.

"Before you go storming off to the duel ring, aren't you forgetting something?" Carth asked. "Gadon Thek…"

"Oh… yeah…" I grinned.

"I do admire you for helping people like this," Carth said. "But maybe I should be the one in the duel ring."

"Are you saying I'm incapable of winning?" I asked.

Carth shook his head. "No, I would never say that. It's just…"

"What?" I wondered.

He shook his head and frowned. "Nothing. Let's just get to the Hidden Bek base and find out what we can." He strode off down the hall, letting me wonder what the heck he meant by his words.

OOOOO

**Sorry for the wait on this chapter! I wasn't sure anyone was reading it, so I focused on my other fictions. Thank you to the review who sent me a reminder - it brought me back to the keyboard. So, you see, reviews are important and encourage me to go on. Please let me know your thoughts - it only takes a moment. Thanks**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you to those who sent reviews. I really love receiving them. Here's some more story for you. Enjoy!**

**Day 8 (continued)**

On our way out of the Lower City cantina, a conflict between a Twi'lek girl and two Rodians caught our attentions. She seemed a bit young to be hanging around a cantina alone and I grew concerned for her. The Rodians were becoming threatening and I was going to interfere, but then I noticed that I didn't have to. The Twi'lek girl called a large Wookie to her side and the Rodians backed off quickly.

Carth thought it was quite entertaining.

We walked up to her and Carth said, "You showed a lot of guts dealing with those Vulkars, kid. You got a name?"

"My name's Mission Vao and the big Wookie is my best friend, Zaalbar," she said. She looked us over. "You must be new down here; I don't recognize you and I know practically everyone here. I guess that makes me and Big Z your official welcoming committee."

"Thanks, Mission," Carth replied. "I'm Carth and this is Skye. You're right, we are new down here."

"I'd offer to give you a tour, but the streets down here aren't safe. But if there's anything else you need, I may be able to help. I'm the one to talk to about anything: Davik, the Lower City gangs… I've even got the scoop on that bounty hunter, Calo Nord."

"What about Calo Nord?" I asked. If he was working for Davik, it might be good to know him better.

Mission chatted happily away. "Calo Nord's one of the most famous bounty hunters in the galaxy. He's killed more people than the Iridian Plague! I've seen him kill people just for trying to talk to him. He hangs around Zak's bounty office, but I don't think he's looking for work there. All the postings there are small time – way beneath a bounty hunter of his caliber. I figure Calo's been hired by Davik to do a special job for the Exchange. I'd wager 100 credits that as soon as the quarantine ends, he'll be getting off this rock."

I looked at Carth and knew he was thinking the same thing as I. If Calo Nord was so skilled, perhaps it wasn't Davik he was really working for. Perhaps he was looking for Bastila too and Davik was just his excuse to learn all he could from the locals. This didn't bode well for Bastila. We had to find her first!

"What do you know about Davik?" Carth asked her.

"Davik's part of the intergalactic crime syndicate," she answered, "but I guess everyone knows that. I hear he's got a new ship for his smuggling operations – the Ebon Hawk. I don't know much about space travel, but I hear that ship's fast enough to break the Sith blockade. Of course, this is all just second hand rumor."

Oh, but what a good rumor it was to our ears. Carth was thinking the same thing when he asked, "Where would he keep it? Do you know?"

"If Davik does have a ship, he's got it locked up tight in his estate. Nobody gets in there, except the people working for Davik and the Exchange," Mission replied.

"Thanks for the information," I said. "By the way, how did a Wookie and a Twi'lek girl end up best friends?" It was quite a curious combination.

"We just kind of fell in together," she replied. "It isn't easy on your own here in the Lower City – everyone's always looking to push you around. When I met up with Zaalbar, it seemed like a good match. I knew we could look out for each other with my street smarts and his muscle. We make a great team."

"So we noticed," Carth said, kindly. "Do you know where we can find the Hidden Bek base?"

"I was just about to go there myself," Mission said. "I can show you. Come on, Zaalbar."

The Wookie answered her in his language, a language I was happy to say that I understood. He apparently didn't want to leave without eating his meal.

"Can't you think of something besides your stomach for five minutes?" Mission scolded. "Come on; let's show our friends to the Bek Base."

The Wookie reluctantly followed behind us as Mission led us out of the cantina and towards the base. On the way, she filled us in about Gadon Thek, the leader of the Hidden Beks.

When we reached the door of the base, a woman guard allowed Mission and Zaalbar through but stopped Carth and I. We managed to convince her that we wanted to help the Hidden Beks and she let us through – with a warning of course.

As Carth and I proceeded cautiously in, we no longer could see our guides Mission and Zaalbar. We assumed that they left us to our own devices. Gang members were strolling around, none of them paying any particular attention to us beyond a few glances. We noticed an imposing looking man sitting at a large desk towards the back and assumed that it may be Gadon.

When we got closer, however, a woman snapped us to stay back.

"We want to speak with Gadon Thek," I said.

"A lot of people want to speak with Gadon," she replied, harshly. "How do we know you're not spies?"

Before I could speak, the man at the desk said, "Calm down, Zaedra, let them speak."

"Very well, but I'm watching you," Zaedra warned.

We stepped closer to Gadon and introduced ourselves, telling him that we were seeking information on the crashed escaped pods.

"Escape pods? The Black Vulkars have already stripped those clean. Whatever was in them is probably in their base," he answered. "I even heard they found a Republic Soldier still alive on one. They took her as a prisoner."

"Her?" I asked. I looked at Carth. "Bastila?" If it was Bastila, at least they didn't know she was a Jedi.

Carth shrugged, "Could be. Do you know how we could get into the Black Vulkar base?"

"I might know a way," Gadon said, carefully. It was apparent that he didn't completely trust our motives. "Are you after salvage or the soldier?"

"Maybe both," I answered, looking into his strange eyes. I wasn't sure if he was completely blind or not.

"Answer the question," Zaedra snapped.

"The soldier, all right?" Carth replied. "She may be a friend of ours."

I gave Carth a sharp look. Now they would suspect we were soldiers as well. I hoped that the Hidden Beks could be trusted. I definitely didn't trust the Black Vulkars from what I had seen so far.

I looked at Gadon. "How much do you want for the information?" I asked.

"Now hold on," Gadon replied. "I'm not trying to shake you down. I just want to know who I'm dealing with. You're strangers after all. You could be Sith for all I know. But somehow I suspect that it's not the case."

"We are not Sith, nor Vulkars, nor working for Davik," I replied.

Gadon nodded. "Come back tomorrow. If everything checks out, I'll tell you how to get into the Vulkar base."

"Fair enough," Carth replied. We turned to leave.

"Remember, the Hidden Beks are watching you," Zaedra called out.

I rolled my eyes and mumbled, "I'm not happy about this. We practically told them that we're Republic Soldiers. What if they report us?"

"We need their help," Carth mumbled back. "I have a feeling that Bastila's in that Vulkar base. Gadon seems like someone who appreciates honesty."

"As we all do," I replied while we stepped back out into the Lower City corridor. "Speaking of which, I think this may be a good time to discuss a few things."

Carth looked at me. "Yeah, I definitely have some questions. But let's get back to our apartment first. I have a feeling the Beks are trailing us, trying to find out more."

I nodded "All right."

We found an alcove and slipped our Sith uniforms back on, making our way back to the Upper City before removing them again. We went back to the apartment, purchasing some food along the way. We really didn't have a lot of credits left, so our meal was a bit meager.

Carth took the opportunity to discuss my 'generosity' problem, as he called it. "We really could use those duel ring winnings for ourselves."

"Carth, it's Dia's life on the line!" I replied.

He held up his hands, "I know, I know. I wish I could have solved this another way, perhaps with my blaster at Holden's head."

"Getting the exchange mad at us wouldn't benefit us at this time," I replied, "especially if Davik has a blockade running ship."

"You thinking of taking it?" he asked.

"Aren't you?" I replied.

"The thought did cross my mind. But we need to get Bastila first," Carth reminded.

"Let's hope that prisoner is her," I said.

Carth nodded, finishing his meal and pushing back on his chair. "So," he said, "about our discussion earlier…"

I sighed and rubbed my hand over my eyes. "Yeah, about that," I replied. "This is a bit difficult for me to talk about. I don't go around giving this information to everyone, hardly anyone as a matter of fact."

Carth sat up and propped his elbows on the table, listening with interest. "I'm not trying to pry, you know," he said. "But like you said, we should know some things about each other if we are going to be working so closely."

I nodded. "All right, here it is. I was told that a Republic ship found me adrift in my smuggling vessel. My ship had been attacked and I was injured. I was told this, Carth, because I have no memory of it." I looked at him to see his reaction. I could only see curiosity in his face. "In fact," I continued, "I have no memories of anything before that incident."

Carth looked down at his hands. "I'm sorry, Skye. I can't imagine how terrible that must be. You remember nothing of your past?"

I shook my head. "Nothing. Though many of my innate and learned skills have stuck with me, I have no idea when, how and where I learned them. So when I tell you I don't remember how I learned to use a vibroblade, I really mean it."

"I see," he said. "Well, that explains a lot. But it also raises more questions, questions that you can't answer, I suppose. If you're telling me the truth, that is."

I stood up quickly. "Why can't you just trust me for once? What have I done to cause all this suspicion? What is your problem with me?"

"Look, I'm sorry, all right. I already told you that I don't believe in blind trust. It's nothing personal," he replied, sitting back in his chair again. "In fact, personally, I think you're brilliant and you've proven yourself capable many times over."

"Brilliant?" I smiled.

"Don't let it get to your head," he replied. "Did I mention overconfident as well?"

I lifted my eyebrows teasingly. "Oh really? Overconfident? I don't see that as a fault."

"Well it could be if you find yourself in way over your head," he replied. "This duel ring business for example…"

"Oh, no you don't!" I stated. "Don't you dare tell me it's too dangerous. You know that the weapons are set to stun and not kill. Besides you just told me that I'm a very capable person. Or is it the fact that I'm a woman bothering you? Have I unmanned you somehow?"

Carth laughed, "No, Skye, you could never unman me. I know you're skilled with the blade and it has nothing to do with you being a woman."

I turned my back and walked to the trunk next to my bed. "Good, because this woman is about to fight a duel with Gerlon Two-Fingers," I stated. I began undressing to change into my combat suit.

"What… what are you doing?" Carth said, nervously.

I didn't usually change in front of him, but I was feeling bold at the moment. Besides, his discomfort made me smile.

"I'm changing of course," I replied.

He cleared his throat and I heard him stand to walk away. I glanced over my shoulder and noticed him staring at the opposite wall with his back to me. I wanted to laugh, but I held myself back. He was so darn cute, such a gentleman. I suppose it was a bit cruel of me to play with him in this way, but it was too fun to resist.

"Are you decent?" he asked.

I stepped up behind him and said, "Are you saying I don't look decent without my clothes on?"

He spun around, glancing down to make sure I had clothes on – which I did.

"Um… no, I didn't mean that," he answered, flustered. "You… you're a beautiful woman… you know that."

I lifted my hand and caressed his cheek, smiling. "And you're not so bad yourself," I flirted. Carth looked stunned as I bent forward and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"I'm off to free Dia!" I exclaimed, turning towards the exit.

Carth grabbed his jacket off the chair. "Wait, I'm coming with you."

That was two hours ago. I'm now sitting on my bed, writing in this journal while Carth cleans his blaster. It's been quite a day. Gerlon ended up being a bit more of a challenge than Duncan Dead-Eye, but not for long. He managed to hit me a few times with his blaster and Carth insisted on a trip to Zelka, the healer, afterwards.

We now had the 200 credits to free Dia. I was tempted to go next door and tell her, but I decided that its best not to say anything until the deed is done. I didn't completely trust Holden to keep his word.

I also noticed a very large, armored man in the cantina tonight. He was also present at the duel. When I asked someone about him, they said it was Bendak Starkiller. Hmmm… Bendak Starkiller, the government bounty. I wonder how much I'd get for him. I was also told he comes in often to watch the duels. That gives me an idea.

OOOOOOOO

**You can see that I've change a bit of the Gadon Thek meeting. I did this to help the plot a bit. Also, there will be more flirting between Skye and Carth as I don't plan to have them wait until the end of the story to get together. **

**Hope you enjoyed this. Please leave me a review and I'll get more out to you.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry I haven't added to this story for awhile. I'm going to be pumping out some more chapters in the next few days as I'm feeling inspired right now. Hope you are still enjoying it!**

**Disclaimer: I can claim no ownership of the characters or places in this fiction.**

**Day Nine**

Another busy day and I feel we might be a step closer to finding Bastila. Carth doesn't think we should completely trust Gadon Thek, but I feel differently somehow. Gadon may be the leader of a swoop gang, but there is a sense of honor about him that is hard to miss. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I should start at the beginning of this day.

I was anxious to take care of this business with Holden so that we could tell Dia the good news, so the first thing after breakfast we headed down to the Lower City after donning our uncomfortable Sith uniforms. Whoever designed these suits must have been a sadist.

We had no trouble entering the Lower City but in my haste, I had not considered the time of day. The cantina was quiet in the early morning hours and even a drunk like Holden was nowhere to be seen. We headed over to the Hidden Bek Base to see if Gadon was awake. He was.

"Have you decided to help us find our friend?" I asked.

"I've found out more about Brejik's plan for Bastila," Gadon replied. "Apparently she's to be the grand prize in the Season Opener of the swoop races. Winner gets the girl."

"Swoop races?" Carth repeated. "Where do you think Brejik is keeping her?"

"Definitely not at the Vulkar Base, she's too valuable a prize, I'd wager," Gadon replied. "The only way to get your friend back is to win first place in the swoop race."

"Gadon, can you help us with this?" I asked. I had no memory of ever riding a swoop bike, but I was willing to give it a shot.

"I might," Gadon said, thoughtfully. "There is something you need to do for me first. The Vulkars stole an accelerator for our modified swoop engine last week. Without it, we don't stand a chance. If you can steal it back for us, I'll let you ride the modified bike with it. You'll ride under the Bek banner of course."

"Why would you let us do that?" I wondered.

Gadon looked a bit uncomfortable. "To tell you the truth, that accelerator hasn't been tested before. Something could go wrong. It's a risk to put a Bek on it. But if you accept, and ride in the race, and you happen to win, it will sway a lot of young folks to join the Beks instead of the Vulkars. This war has been hard on us and we've lost a lot of good people. We need to bring more over to our side. You'll get what you want, and we'll get what we want."

"I don't think…" Carth began.

"We'll do it," I answered, cutting off Carth's refusal. He looked at me sharply. "Carth, I've got a sharp eye and good reflexes. I can drive a swoop."

Carth pulled me a few steps away from Gadon and said in a low voice, "Skye, how do we know we can trust this guy to keep his word? He's a gang leader."

"It's always a trust thing with you, isn't it? Don't you trust anyone?" I replied.

"No, I don't. And if you were smart, you wouldn't either," Carth retorted.

"That's a terrible way to live, Carth. Are you always this suspicious?"

"Yes, I don't trust anyone. They can all turn against you at any moment," he replied, anger beginning to stir in his voice.

"What happened to you?" I shook my head in wonder. I knew that something traumatic must have imprinted itself on Carth's mind. He seemed very adamant.

"I don't want to talk about it," he snapped. "Look, let's just continue on with the search. We don't need to be errand runners for gang bosses."

"I'm sorry, Carth. But instinct is telling me that Gadon is honest. I'm going to get his accelerator for him AND I'm going to win that race!" I turned about.

"Skye…" Carth tried, but I was already speaking with Gadon again.

"Where can I find your accelerator, Gadon?" I asked.

Gadon explained that it would be in the Vulkar base but it was impossible to enter through the secure door. He suggested that we enter it through the sewers in the Undercity."

"You've done this before?" I asked.

"No," Gadon replied. "But Mission Vao has. She and her Wookie have explored every nook and cranny of the sewers and she's told me that she found the entrance. Convince her to be your guide."

"Where can I find her?" I asked, remembering the young Twi'lek and her Wookie from our earlier meeting. "Is she here?"

"No, I believe she is down in the Undercity right now. You may have to ask around down there. Give me your Sith uniforms and I'll give you some security papers. You won't need your uniforms anymore with the papers."

Carth remained fuming silently next to me while I made the exchange with Gadon. We really had to work on these trust issues he had.

When we stepped outside the base, I turned to face the brooding man. "Listen, we need to work together here, Carth. If you have a problem with me, then let's talk about it."

"You just gave away our Sith disguises! How do you know these security papers will even work? Gadon Thek could have just swindled us!"

I shook my head in amazement. "I'm beginning to pity you, Carth. You don't even trust me, do you?"

"It's nothing personal. I don't trust anyone, even myself," he replied. "And I don't need your pity or your psycho analysis!"

"If we are going to work together, you are going to have to share a bit more here," I snapped. "I need to feel we are a team."

"We ARE a team," Carth snapped back. "Damn it! You have to be the most persistent damn woman I know. I have my reasons, o.k. I don't trust easily because I've been deceived before."

"Haven't we all?" I said, throwing up my hands in the air.

"Look, I'm not going to talk about this now, so can we please get on with our duties. Personally, I don't completely trust Gadon and I think we should check around the Lower City for Bastila before we head into the sewers."

"Fine," I conceded. "There are a few apartment blocks down here we can search. I saw them on my map. But if Bastila's not here, we are going into the sewers."

The tension was thick between us as we searched the apartments. They were crawling with Black Vulkars and we had plenty of confrontations with these slimes as we swept every room we could open. A few rooms had surprising security devices and I chalked it up to my scoundrel skills that I was able to figure them out and reap the rewards. These Vulkars had some very useful things. We ended up with a few energy shields and some better armor from our search – but no Bastila.

We also ran into a government bounty named Selven. She was a vicious killer for hire that went a little too far on one of her jobs, according to Zax. I might have left her alone if she hadn't been so mean and nasty when we confronted her. After all, I wasn't into being a bounty hunter. She attacked us and Carth and I finished her. It was a tough fight, though.

Speaking of bounty hunters, we also ran into that Calo Nord fellow. We watched as he gunned down two bounties for that crime boss, Davik. Calo Nord was extremely fast with the blasters.

Everywhere we went there seemed to be some sort of corruption going on. A Mandalorian named Canderous Ordo was working for Davik too, making sure people were paying Davik on time. People seemed genuinely scared of Canderous. We tried to have a word with him, but he had no time for us.

We also found one other bounty; a Twi'lek named Matrik, hiding out in one apartment. He turned traitor on Davik and testified against him in court. Now Davik wanted him dead but I had no desire to do Davik's dirty work for him. In fact, I felt a bit sad about Matrik's situation and offered to help him. The guy wants a permacrete detonator in order to blow up the apartment and fake his death. Carth and I agreed that it just may work and if we could find such a device, we'd be back.

By the time we finished searching the Lower City apartments, we realized that it was approaching late afternoon and we headed for the cantina to see if Holden was there yet. And yes, there he was, slobbering over the Twi'lek dancers. He seemed surprised that we had returned and I gave him the two hundred credits then followed him to Zax to make sure he took the bounty of Dia's head. Zax also paid us the bounty for Selven, surprised that we had managed to take her down.

As Carth and I headed back to the Upper City this evening, we both silently contemplated our argument earlier. I knew he was thinking about it too as I glanced covertly at his face. Something or someone had really done a number on Carth. I wondered if it was a woman, perhaps a cheating wife. What had shaken Carth's trust so thoroughly?

And should I even care? Was it really any of my business? I find that I'm feeling more for Carth than I probably should. It has grown comfortable having him around and in a way; he has a positive effect on me. There are times when I get so frustrated that I feel I could easily loose control in a battle situation, but then there is Carth by my side and I somehow feel I must uphold certain standards. He keeps me honest. And I suppose I like myself better like that.

I think I already mentioned how attractive I find him. Maybe it's best that he doesn't trust me. If he did let me get closer to him, I'm not sure how I'd react. Perhaps I'd lose myself. But then again, I'm not really sure who I really am anyway.

A group of drunks stopped us on our way back to the apartment, shaking us out of our thoughts.

"Hey… you shlummies should stay down in the Lower City where you belong," one of them slurred, stepping in our path.

"Except for you, sweetheart," said another, stepping closer to me.

"Hey, hey, that's enough," Carth warned, putting his arm between me and the drunk man.

The other drunks began closing in around Carth and I knew there would be trouble if something wasn't done immediately. The Sith patrolling the streets were beginning to stop and look towards us. I didn't want to risk being taken in for questioning by them.

"Look guys, we are all friends here. Why don't we buy you a round of drinks at the cantina?" I cajoled.

Carth looked at me like I was crazy, but his eye suddenly caught sight of the approaching Sith as well. "Yes, how about some drinks?" Carth said.

"Drinks?" a drunk said, his head wobbling. "You gonna buy them? You're not bad for a shlummie."

"No more drinks," slurred another. "Got to go home…"

"Yeah, come on."

Carth and I watched as the drunks stumbled away, laughing and forgetting about us completely. The Sith guard approaching lost interest and turned about.

"That was close," I sighed. "Come on, let's go tell Dia she's off the hook."

Thanks to the drunks, the silence between Carth and I was now broken and we both seemed relieved as we walked on.

"So you're not upset that we raided those apartments today?" I asked.

"Taking from Vulkars? No, I'm not upset. They probably stole everything they had anyway," Carth replied.

I felt emboldened by the easy chit chat and decided to broach a more serious topic.

"Carth," I said in my most empathetic voice, "please tell me about what happened to you. I really, sincerely, want to know you better."

Carth turned his face towards mine and looked into my eyes for a moment as if he were sizing me up. It made my heart skip a beat all the same. Then he looked straight ahead as we continued walking.

"There was a man, an admiral in the Republic Army that I served under, Admiral Saul Karath. He was a damn good leader and a good friend. We were able to successfully repel the Mandalorians from our home planet when the Jedi Revan and Malak sent their fleets to our aide. I was proud to have served under Admiral Karath. He was a hero to me."

"Go on," I encouraged.

"Then, when Revan and Malak returned from wherever they had disappeared to, they had become Sith and were recruiting all the good men they could find for their new Sith Armada. They were able to convince Saul to join with them," Carth said with difficulty. "Saul wanted me to come along with him, but I refused. I was shocked and disgusted that he would become a Sith. I had thought him to be a good man."

"I'm sorry, Carth," I replied.

"Oh that's not the worst of it," Carth answered, anger filling his tone. "Saul turned against our home planet, the planet he had helped save from the Mandalorians. He turned around and attacked it, giving his new Sith masters the codes to bypass our security systems. They destroyed so much, so many died…" Carth grew quiet and looked away a moment.

I stopped walking and took his hand, pulling him around to face me. "Carth, that's terrible. I'm sorry."

His eyebrows knitted with anger. "That's not all! But I don't want to talk about it. I should have stopped it! All I know is that I'm going to get Saul one way or another. He's going to pay!"

I moved my fingers up his arms to try to calm him. "Carth, you have a right to be angry. I understand that. But I'm not Saul."

"I know that. I'm sorry I'm being such an ass, it's just that…" Carth's eyes shifted about, angry and nervous. Then he locked his gaze on mine. "I won't be fooled again, Skye. Not by you, not by anyone!" He shrugged out of my embrace and stalked on at a quick pace. I realized the conversation was over for now, but at least I found out what his wound was, or at least part of it.

I followed a distance behind as Carth entered our apartment. I didn't go in after him. I felt a bit of alone time was what Carth needed at the moment. I went next door to visit with Dia and tell her the good news. She was extremely happy and grateful. I really felt good about doing that for her, so good that I decided to help that Matrik fellow as well.

After I left her apartment, I went to Keebla Yurt's store and purchased the permacrete detonator for Matrik. I hoped he'd be all right until tomorrow because there was no way I was going down to the Lower City tonight.

I felt restless tonight and I didn't want to go back to the apartment yet, so I headed for the cantina. And there he was, Bendak Starkiller! He noticed me lingering around him and asked, "What do you want? I'm not giving autoprints today, so move along."

"Maybe I don't want an autoprint from you, Bendak. Maybe I'd rather collect that big bounty on your head," I stated, emboldened by a few drinks.

Bendak laughed. "Good luck, little bounty hunter. Pull out your weapon in here and the automated targeting system will gun you down."

"You have to leave sometime, Bendak," I said, smugly.

"Why would I want to leave? I've got everything I need here," he replied. "Tell you what. I've seen you in the duel ring, but you haven't impressed me. If you can beat all those other pretenders, I'll consider facing you in a Death Match. You'll get your bounty if you win."

"I'll see you later, then," I boldly asserted.

"Good luck," he laughed.

I really shouldn't have had those drinks tonight. That Tarisian ale really does pack a punch. I headed straight for the dueling arena and challenged that cold bitch, Ice. We had some nasty words, and my mood was really not a good one. Azure was happy that I was back and it seemed that the men were very excited at the prospect of a duel between two women.

Need I tell you how it turned out? I stuck with my vibroblade the whole time, but Ice used a combination of blaster and blade. It was a tougher fight than Gerlon, but she went down. I surprise myself at these times. I really wish I remembered how I learned to fight like I do. It is almost instinctual.

The purse was a nice 300 credits and I smiled at Bendak knowingly as I passed him by on my way out of the cantina.

Now I sit here on my bed, writing in this journal while Carth is fast asleep on his bed next to mine. At least I think he is asleep. His back is turned and I can gaze on his shoulders, arms and back at my leisure. How long has it been since I've been with a man? Have I ever been with a man? I wish I could remember.

I reached my hand across, hovering close to Carth's shoulder. I can feel the heat coming off of his skin, but I quickly pulled back. What is this man doing to me?

00000

**Please send me a review and let me know your thoughts. I also would like to know if people are still interested in this story. Thanks!!!**


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